The last three days have been tough. It's hard to get excited about our trip home when most of the context and my hopes for the trip have had to change. It's not going to be a return the old stomping grounds to remind us of our youth and our wedding. It is going to be a way to reconnect with friends and family and be at the wedding of the decade. It's going to be Monkey's first visit to Nana and I can't wait for them to know each other for real.
But I am still torn.
I am still trying to clear my head.
This morning, I struggled to get out of bed. I met up with a friend for a coffee after kindy drop off and she helped me see that all is not as bad as it seems at 3am. I caught up with my neighbour who is about one month ahead of me in the separation game. I texted a friend who always makes me smile and that helped loads. But still I could feel the tears coming, the pain in my chest rising...
But tonight as I sat trying to will Monkey to sleep, so that I could somehow cobble together the end of my story for Writer's Plot, I got a text from Sophie and the Sisterhood. Could they gift me a beauty treatment before I fly out. I was so tempted to say no. As an admin, I see some of the stories of need, true, real need and I didn't want to take the funds away from them... However, since this kicked off, I have promised to be honest and to accept all offers of help and support. I said yes. And with the help of Sophie and The Sisterhood, I will be getting my first ever mani-pedi and I can't thank them enough for giving me a little something to get me through when the next wave hits.
This is also a thank you to everyone who has commented with words of support and virtual coffees and shoulders. I really appreciate you!
I'll be online sporadically while I'm away so please don't think I'm in a puddle of tears somewhere... X