Saturday, 30 August 2014

A Night With Me and Pinot Gris.-

Not a bad drunk selfie!
A Night With Me and Pinot Gris.

words poured into my glass again
as quickly - my words poured between my lips
they became clearer and harder to hold in my heart
as more words flowed from the second bottle
last night my words tasted like fruity wine
last night my words would have gone well with seafood or Asian food
instead they poured into the room, onto a screen
they promised more than they should have
they shared more than they needed to
but they mixed well in my glass
and with the laughter and
with the tears
the words hold hope and desires
ones that have never been said before
and those that have been hidden behind the smiles
and reassurances of not rocking the boat

i hear them today, the light words that floated free
and i feel those that were too heavy to leave the glass
and i love that they're out now.
i love that a night of pinot gris means you know me.

Saturday, 23 August 2014

Past Remembering video.

Last night was the annual poetry competition at our local library. I was in the top 9 finalists from a pool of 180 entries. It's always daunting reading my work. Put me in front of an audience and it's even worse. Thank goodness there were a few friendly faces in the audience and a shared bottle of Pinot Gris. 

 I enjoyed reading the poem and managed to not swallow too many words. When I got back to my seat I was told I was filmed...

When you have a friend who creates music videos and television ads for a living, I suppose you should expect to have your poetry reading filmed. Sadly for me but luckily for you - here I am in all my poetic glory.

Friday, 22 August 2014

Past Remembering - competition poem.

Past Remembering

All I know about your time in italy is this -
your teeth were not lost there, that came after,
or so I was told when I was six waiting to swim
- but your leg was left there somewhere -
and you hopped into the tidal pool.

but we were never to ask you about it
because you wouldn’t talk about italy
or the war or your friends left there
or about why you fitted two school years into one
to be able to fight for the home of your father
the home you’d never seen

we weren’t to ask you about what had been
what made you walk for hours on crutches
to remember what walking was like before you left
we were told to hush now
because it was past remembering
no one needed to be reminded of the things they did
in the name of a country you’d never visited.

Yesterday - national poetry day.

Yesterday

You belong in my yesterdays,
the darkened recesses of times past.
in the pale reflections of what i believed was real
in the echoes of conversations dredged up
as I look for a photograph or an analogy
to share with those that remained
those that waited
those that stayed

You belong in my yesterdays,
in the places i forgot i visited
with the people i forgot i knew
once you stay there, today is clearer
tomorrow is mine forever
and for those who waited
and for those who stayed.

Monday, 11 August 2014

Untitled, about you.

do you ever write about me?
the question hangs there
over my head and i wait for it to fall, gallows-quick
my mouth opens and the words no, never, why and which one did you read?
tumble out one after the other as my heart yells
Yes.
YES.
In everything there is a part of you
your voice, slow and patient, angry and quick
your smile - tempting and enticing
the curve of your hip, the way your skin looks in the sunlight
they find their way into my words
they are a part of me, of you

Yes, again, yes
in every line there is a piece of you
that thing you did last tuesday that pissed me off
the time you cupped my face in your hand
the way your hand moves when you think I'm driving badly
your sigh when you taste your first sip of a good coffee
they're always in my words

And yes, yes,
sometimes you will know it's you
sometimes you will think it's him or her or them
and sometimes you'll be right
and sometimes it will be about a man on a bike in the rain
or a girl I saw on a bus by the sea.

And I will always worry that you'll recognise yourself in the one that
breaks your heart or makes you angry
or worse, that you'll see him in the one you love
or the one that was always meant for you.

Sunday, 10 August 2014

too tired

too tired.
eyes aching.
hands clumsy.
head thumping.
tongue sharp.
thoughts sluggish.
feet trying to walk back the way I came
back to your arms
which were never mine
except for when I was too tired.

Friday, 8 August 2014

Redacted Love

Let's stop pretending
don't love you
and you don't love me
let's admit the truth 
tell the world that we have
loved each other for almost
forever. 

Thursday, 7 August 2014

Cannot Forget

Cannot Forget

"We always have one" she said
draining another glass
"That one that stays with us,
in the back-to-front parts of our regret-blackened hearts.
the one who never saw us
for less than the sum of everything we'd let them see.
The one who knew us better than we knew ourselves.
Because we chose to be vulnerably real to them.
They live in the tears we cry at 3am after a night of laughing.
In a joke we can barely remember, they wait, holding the punchline in their eyes
They are in a shadow that falls across our faces
when we look too long at the candle or fire's flames.
They are in the moment we look at our lover
and cannot remember why they're in our bed.
They are in the whisper of song that brushes our skin,
like the warmth of a soft sigh.
They tear at us like a sandstorm on deserted beach
reminding us what it was like when we were young,
when we were too dumb to know what we had,
what we were playing with, playing for and
eventually what the real cost would be.
Darling, we always have one we cannot allow ourselves to forget."

Wednesday, 6 August 2014

Never yours - a poem

Never Yours.

when you get quiet and I get angry
I try to picture you naked 
to see you as no one has seen you before
to try to feel more than this sucking anger
but your words clothe you
they cover you in colours that mar your skin
that trace patterns to deflect 
how I feel when I look at you in anger
and detract from 
how much I want to see you weakened
vulnerable
but instead of feeling the burning heat of this moment 
I feel a chilling cold, a sadness that breaks my heart
as your words are another veil 
another way to keep me on the outside of you

when you get quiet, I can't hold onto the anger
it seeps into sorrow and drips between my fingers
onto my naked skin
never yours.

Tuesday, 5 August 2014

Tomorrow

Tomorrow:

If tomorrow were to be Judgement Day
I think I know what you’d say -
You’d say I should have spent my life with you
And sailed the deep oceans of blue
Together we should have roamed the seas
And brought the world to its knees
with our acts of love and laughter
that would have filled our forever after
in the stories that they’d write about
us. to prove to those who find it easy to doubt
that the cost of true love is worth the pain
and the times we had to walk in the rain
to find our way back to the path by the sea
the cost of being us worth more than the loneliness of being me….