Monday, 6 December 2010

Perfectly Imperfect

This weekend has been one of those weekends. The kind where on top of perfect weather and perfect moments, you get reminded of your imperfections.

I am the first to admit I am not perfect. Far from it. I like to think that I have moments of accidental perfection, which are quite few and far between. This weekend, however, I was told, lovingly, that I am judgemental. It hurt because I know that I am.

I am. I know that I am. I have always been the person who will decide whether you are worth the effort in the first minute of meeting you. Generally, I am correct and I will be the first to admit I was wrong if I am mistaken. But this is not the judgement that was brought to my attention.

It was, rather, the fact that I have VERY high standards for myself, which I then expect from others. My high standards are definitely not related to housework or decor or clothing or appearance. My high standards are related to the way people are treated, manners, respect, punctuality and not imposing on others.

I know I judge people on their timeliness, their manners, their treatment of people who are different to them (hypocrite - thy name is me!).

Now what do I do about this. Can it be fixed? Should it be fixed?

I have two major concerns:
  1. Do I lower my expectations?
  2. Will my high expectations adversely affect Monkey?
My first thought is that I won't lower my expectations as they are the ones I have for myself but I *must* learn to cut myself and others slack. This will help ease the guilt I feel for not meeting them and help me cut some slack for others.

As for Monkey - Stud1 said that he is who he is because I have high expectations and I help him meet them. Which is why he has good manners, behaves really well, is helpful, caring, loving and *god forbid* quite tidy!

I hope that Stud1 is right. I would hate to be setting him up to fail. I mentioned having high expectations in this post and I still believe it, but how do I know that my expectations are achievable? Will he grow up to just accept it as the norm?

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