Friday 12 November 2010

One BIG regret

is the fact that I didn't buy a $2000 coffee machine when we had two salaries...

Ok, no it's not the biggest but it is up there...

My biggest regret is living on the other side of the world to our family. Both mine and Stud1's family are overseas. We live in NZ, my family is in SA, his are in the UK and France. Monkey has met one set of grandparents and one of the three uncles. He knows no different but is getting to an age where he is beginning to notice when his friends have their grandparents visit. He hasn't met my mum, not even on skype. It is hard to form a relationship with photos and a voice - for both parties.

There is gap in his life which we find hard to fill, I would love for him to have an uncle or his grandparents nearby to spoil him, take him places (when he's older) that we may not approve of and have a haven away from us. We have wonderful friends who are taking similar roles in his life but there is the subtle difference between friend and family.

It is difficult having no physical familial support to rely on. I think it was a contributor to the Twilight Zone. It highlights the isolation I felt and sometimes still feel.

Would we want to raise him in South Africa - no. Would we raise him in the UK - no. Would we raise him in France - not sure as we've never been there.

I do know that neither the UK or SA could offer Monkey the lifestyle he has now. True we can't afford trips overseas but we can afford for me to stay home and raise him. We can let him play outside and stub his toe with out fear of abduction or being branded neglectful. I know all the benefits he is receiving but I also know what he is missing out on.

It is the best choice we could make for him (and us) but it is a choice which costs us. In the wee hours of the morning, it feels like it may not have been worth it.

1 comment:

  1. I can relate. Our family is scattered across the globe and we are here in NZ alone. We sorely miss the friends and family we left behind and even though we don't regret moving for the safety of our children we often wish things were different.


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