I am still here. I am still finding my way and I am now smiling.
It's been an interesting few weeks. I have had many realisations regarding my married life, my relationship with myself and with men. It's been harrowing. It's been eye-opening. It's been fun. It's been frightening. And I am ok with all of those emotions.
My realisation two weeks ago, that I was no longer required to care about what he did or wanted or needed because he had chosen not to factor me into his life, released me. I hadn't realised just how trapped I had been. How held back and stifled I had been.
I have found a new strength. I have grown a pair! I am not taking his shit on board anymore and I am not taking anyone else's either. I have enough of my own to deal with.
Since he left us and I have found my strength - friends and family have been sharing insights with me. Things I never saw, things I can see now and wonder how I missed it...
I'm not sure if I'll share them publicly but I just want you to know... if you are doubting where you are in your life. Ask a good friend. Listen to them. They hold your happiness dearer than you do - they will tell you the truth and unfortunately - if it's a bad truth - it's still real. They will help you through it and they are the wake up you may need.