I have come to the realisation (again - I am a slow learner sometimes!) that I am wasting moments that I will never have again with Monkey.
While I wait to (magically) look good in a bathing costume, he is growing up and, too soon, won't want to swim with me.
Because in all honesty - I am more likely to get a doctorate in advanced nuclear science than look the way I think/feel I should look in a bather.
It didn't help my resolve to accept that the mere fact that I want to swim with my son is enough when the websites I trawled yesterday had pictures like these from my favourite bra manufacturer. Pictures that made my cellulited thighs quiver in fear and dismay... Well... I think they were, I can't see them over my mummy-overhang.
Even the models I've used for illustrations don't look plus-sized to me. In my opinion, they have an enviable body, they have curves and look like they enjoy food but have a better handle on moderation and exercise than I do.
It was disheartening and made me feel like I should just give up my search. I felt like I was hoping for too much. But in deciding that wanting to swim and paddle about with my son was enough reason to get a new bather. That it would be enough for him to have me in the pool with him. That he doesn't need me to be in a bikini, he needs me to be in the pool!
I am enough for him!
And this morning I went out and bought this... It is enough for me - I love it.
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