I'm sure that anyone who has had made my acquaintance will tell you I am possibly the worst choice for this sort of thing. Indeed the very fact that I am standing here has less to do with loyalties towards the groom than what LJ's threatened me with if I didn't.
I've known Captain Awesome and LJ's since before they were "Captain Awesome and LJ". Therefore you could say I've seen them at their worst and best. Because as far back as I can recall, they have always worked better as a team than apart. Yes, they have had their ups and downs, I've a tear stained shoulder from Captain Awesome to prove it. But such trials have only brought them closer (in engineering we call it debugging the system.)
LJ, I'd be failing in my duty if I did not draw your attention to what I'm sure you've already discovered. Captain Awesome is the most annoying, irritating, hardworking, creative, compassionate and loyal person I know. I can guarantee he will make your life more difficult and exciting than you could ever dream (no - he didn't pay me to say that).
Captain Awesome, I charge you to safeguard the happiness of the other most annoying, infuriating, interesting and beautiful person I know. Never take for granted what life has deemed fit to bless you with.
I'm well aware that most of you were expecting to hear humorous and embarrassing anecdotes relating to the bridal couples courtship. This will not be the case I'm afraid, for not only do some involve me, but some can not even be repeated in public.
My final thought though is intended solely for the groom. It is written in Proverbs that he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord. Now who can argue with that?
Ladies and gentleman, please will you join me in a toast to my best friend and his wife. May your life together be more ups than downs, more better than worse, more richer than poorer, may your every step bring you good fortune. And finally, may the force be with you!