I cry for those I lost, those I cannot reach nor touch,
that the warmth of my hands will not feel theirs,
nor my arms embrace them
I cry for the lost moments, memories never made,
for the conversations we could have had,
should have had, will never have
I cry because I cannot hold the tears back any more
they are eroding me, tearing me apart.
breaking me more than letting them out will
I cry because I am lost, there isn't a way back nor out,
that doesn't involve crumbling
the rules I've made, protection from a reality that confuses
I cry because I don't know you. You don't know me.
and we will never be what we should have become
that I don't know where the lines are now,
I cry because I regret too much that I had no control over.
They seep between my lashes, breaths and gasps
always catching me unawares
I cry for the nights lost and times I should have cried,
the sunrises we never saw, the storms we never weathered
for the arguments we never shouted
I cry for you, lost to me -
forgotten by anything more than a line in a diary,
hidden in a box marked "emotional crap"
I cry because it's all I can do