Which lead me to this...
What if I stopped worrying about whether people notice the size of my bum, hips, boobs? Or count my chins when I smile? What if I accept that what people do notice is my smile, my kindness, my generosity? That I have the ability to brighten their day by laughing or noticing something cool/good/pretty/unique about them and telling them that I notice them.
What if I stop worrying about what people think of me when I speak my mind - all the weirdly visual language and poetic stuff that I usually filter? What if I just say it? So what if people think I'm odd? I'd rather be odd than exactly like everyone else!
What if I stop worrying about fitting into the mould of the "normal woman" and realise that any one who loves me "despite" my weight isn't worth loving back. Whether that love is platonic or romantic - I am more than my body. As is a slight person or someone with a disability... We are not our bodies - we are our souls and our hearts.
What if I stop worrying about change? What if I take it on as a challenge to grow to be more than I am now, more than I was seven months ago? A challenge to become myself. Truly myself? The person some people can already see and know and love?