Tuesday 3 April 2012

I don't like change.

Disclaimer: This is a "real" post. Please don't be offended or hurt or worried. But, as always, if you want to send coffee and chocolate, message me.

I don't deal well with change.

I am quite spontaneous. I don't follow strict routines. I don't deal well with change.

I'm in a place now where I am happy. 93% of the time I am happy. The other 7% is easily forgotten once it's in the past. 

I have my niche. I have my peeps. I have my hangouts. I don't deal well with change.

I'm working through other demons, making peace with things I can't work out, I'm feeling positive.

I am scared that changing things will break the fragile peace I have now.

I have been hiding from it. Avoiding it. Trying to find a way to stop it happening. 

And I think that's normal. Unhealthy but normal.




I need to do this. It's about more than me. That's the sad difficult part about becoming a wife and a mother. Sometimes things have to change, even if there is no real reason for you to have it change, it is best for the other people in your family.

It's hard and I am very sure there will be lots of blog fodder as we go further down the track with this. At the moment it's still a bit airy-fairy and hand-wavey, which is why the change isn't defined but it will be eventually... Bear (bare?) with me. And thank you for your supportive comments yesterday. I needed to know that being "real" would be ok. 


  1. I so get what you are saying. I think that's what got me the most when Bianca was diagnosed with leukemia. How suddenly everything changed and I lost complete control. It left me feeling incredibly frustrated.

    I don't think I do change very well either. And I don't like "unknowns".

  2. I totally understand and appreciate reading your 'real' posts. I also know how hard it is to write less than 'happy' posts too. Of course my blog is like a 'life-line' to my parents - my Mum especially checks in every day to see if there's a new post about her grand-daughters on the other side of the world. Like you my blog has evolved since its inception. I too like to write out my feelings more - but don't wish to write anything too 'worrying'. It's not an easy balance. I too struggle with finding a way to feel free to creatively express myself at times - I know that I often censor my writing on the blog so as not to upset or overly worry my family.

  3. I don't deal well with change either. **hugs** I think you should write about it - I know writing about stuff helps me work it out in my head.


Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. I try to reply to as many as I can either here or by email. <3 LJx