Today's prompt is what fuels you...
What Fuels Me?
I started off thinking about food... I do that quite often.
It frustrated me that I was thinking of food when surely this is a deeper prompt and then I realised something. As much as I struggle to eat healthy and resist having too much cake and a second caramel latte or too many hot chips, I struggle with the soul-fuel.
My soul-fuel is the quick-fix junk-food of life.
All the externals. Praise, compliments, affirmations from others. Hugs and smiles from Monkey and Stud1. Smiles from strangers when Monkey is being adorable and when he's not.
I know that I should be more focussed on the intrinsics. Feelings like accomplishment, the satisfaction of doing a good job for the sake of doing a good job, not because someone says “Well done” or “good blog post”.
That it should be enough that I feel like I have done well or tried my hardest. But in all honesty, my confidence is shaky and I need those externals to feel as if I am good enough.
Then I realised... it is enough.
My soul-fuel is what helps me make it through a bad day, helps me make the right choices, helps me focus on the good in me and what I do. It buoys me when I feel bogged down by the challenges of life with a hard working husband and an active three year old. It gets me through writer's block, through all the what-ifs and should-Is. It gives me the confidence to be more accepting of my faults and others.
My soul-fuel maybe the quick-fix junk-food of life but it is enough for me.