|about 6 months
Confidence - check
In those books you read, in the
Those days where we would rather be cleaning toilets in a night club in (insert grotty clubbing district here) or giving a cow an enema. Or think that baby, partner and the world would be better off if we were not here. We have all wanted to hit baby after the 9th wake up of the night or the 5th consecutive hour of crying. We have all felt the urge to scream at our baby/toddler/husband:
"This is all your f*cking fault!"
I have and probably will again.
We have all failed in our "vision of motherhood"
There are so many things I have done that make me feel like a terrible mum, but then I look at Monkey - he is happy, loved, confident, bright, curious, adventurous and empathetic. After all the things I have done wrong, he is still the best kid I know.
As long as I can say that, I think I am doing pretty damn well.
If your child is happy, knows that he/she is loved and that he/she is valued in your life... You are doing a great job!
I also believe that any mum who says they have never felt resentment, a sense of loss or anger against their child or partner is deluding herself. No one is that perfect and if you are denying those feelings and suppressing them, they are going to erupt in a bad way... Be kind to yourself, admit your failings and move on.
No one is a perfect mother. You are, however, the perfect mother for your child!