Wednesday, 4 May 2011

In which the secrets of Motherhood are revealed - Part 3 : Dark Days

about 6 months
Judgement - check
Confidence - check


Dark Days (and nights)

In those books you read, in the great advice you were given, in all the judgements you have made, I bet you never noticed that there is very little information on coping with the bad days or nights.

Those days where we would rather be cleaning toilets in a night club in (insert grotty clubbing district here) or giving a cow an enema. Or think that baby, partner and the world would be better off if we were not here. We have all wanted to hit baby after the 9th wake up of the night or the 5th consecutive hour of crying. We have all felt the urge to scream at our baby/toddler/husband:

"This is all your f*cking fault!"

I have and probably will again.

We have all failed in our "vision of motherhood"

There are so many things I have done that make me feel like a terrible mum, but then I look at Monkey - he is happy, loved, confident, bright, curious, adventurous and empathetic. After all the things I have done wrong, he is still the best kid I know.

As long as I can say that, I think I am doing pretty damn well.

If your child is happy, knows that he/she is loved and that he/she is valued in your life... You are doing a great job!

I also believe that any mum who says they have never felt resentment, a sense of loss or anger against their child or partner is deluding herself. No one is that perfect and if you are denying those feelings and suppressing them, they are going to erupt in a bad way... Be kind to yourself, admit your failings and move on.

No one is a perfect mother. You are, however, the perfect mother for your child!


  1. I'm loving this series you're doing! Ka pai!

  2. Wow, I think I'm in love with your blog! Love the title: I'm a caffeine junkie too! Love that you're a real mother like me: I wanted to throw my baby out the window when I couldn't figure out why he was crying so much! Of course, I didn't, but that doesn't mean I haven't felt like a hopeless bad mother! He's 9 now, btw. Happy, healthy, loved, never been thrown out any window, or a hand laid on him in any way other than love. We have survived so far, I think we'll be ok. As long as I can survive the teenage's hoping!! : ) Thanks for following LYLAS!!!! You rock! : )


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