Monday, 13 December 2010

30 Days of Truth - Day 7

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Dear Stud1,

A case of great timing, I think, that I write this post the day before our 9th wedding anniversary.

You have made my life worth living. 

You were my best guy-friend throughout high school. I remember you being there in the background all through the teen angst years. I remember sitting watching you playing basketball and thinking "Man, he's hot!" I remember sitting watching you date a succession of my friends and having my heart break a little. I remember Michael B, turning to me Maths and saying "Don't worry - he'll realise soon enough that he's with the wrong girl." 

You nearly disappeared from my life, but thanks to the universe and various immigration laws you were sent back into my life. I still remember the day I saw you in the Mall in Milnerton. It was as if the world stopped. I was so happy to see you and to know that you could be in my life for real and not just in letters. (That may still be one of the Top 10 hugs btw)

Then came the years of hanging out until the wee hours of the morning, drinking gallons of coffee, occasional one night stands (on my side), lots of assignments, missed classes and you were always there. 

I can't remember the exact time you realised you loved me... I think I always loved you... I remember a night that we got into trouble for as we missed curfew. It was at Herald's Bay, the stars, moon, clear skies, crashing waves. It was perfect. I get teary just thinking of it. I think that's when we started realising how we were meant to be together.

You became my life. I remember how hard it would be to feel whole when you spent your holidays in Europe and the UK with your family. I still have the letters you wrote me. I use them to remind myself that our history is real and can't be erased. I remember our trip to the UK for my 21st. I remember the fun we had discovering places that we would visit often during our four year stint that was to come.

We went through the turmoils of uni together and along with the other res-rats we came out stronger. You were there for me through my first year of teaching and I was there for you as you finished your degree.

You asked me to marry you in the gardens of our first apartment. I remember going out for dinner to celebrate at the Trattoria and having Meg arrive with champagne to try and convince us we were insane to fall into the trap of marriage. 

We were married on the 15 December 2001 in the same church that my grandparents were married in. We went through two sets of religious re-education so that we were allowed to marry each other in the eyes of the church. Do you think that's where our distrust of secular religion began? It still seems odd that Catholics and Anglicans have to renounce their faith so that they can marry.

Ten days later we started our adult married lives together in the UK. We lived our lives there as if we would live there forever. But in the back of my mind was the fact that it was temporary and we would return to SA. But that is where you truly impacted my life and made it worth living. Our two years became four and then we chose to move here to New Zealand. It was a crapshoot as we had never been to New Zealand. But we were secure in our knowledge that with each other as support we could make it work. And if it didn't, what an awesome holiday destination!?

We made it through the first year, bought our first house and started settling in. I found my perfect job, as did you, we were jinxed blessed with the bundle of happiness and pure energy that is Monkey. 

We made it through the pain that is homesickness in a foreign country, three continents in five years, having to make new networks, not knowing if we would like our new home country, the seven year itch, the rollercoaster transition into parenthood and a family, the pain of not being able to be there for family and friends due to our life choices, six cars in seven years (explain that one), many tears, angry words, sad words, laughter and acts of love and kindness.

And we are still here.

You are still my one and only and you still make my life worth living and completely different to the one I would have had, had the universe not conspired to throw us together.

I love you



  1. I think My beautiful hubby would be right up there too. BUt today I am going to give this one to my kids too.
    Before they came along, I often wondered what the point of life was. Especially as it just ends in death. Not having any strong beliefs in an afterlife makes death seem like a rather lame future. However thats what it is.
    When my babies came along I realised this is what life is al about (for me anyway). So I thank my two beautiful boys for making my life worth living.

  2. Yes so sweet! Everyone should talk about their loved ones this way!

  3. What a beautiful letter to your husband! I've been married for 7 years, and your letter really takes me back to those first days of dating. So great to keep the romance and memories and excitement alive!


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