Wednesday 15 May 2013

Midweek Ramblings... and a dream!

I have a dream. A guilty dream. I'm wondering if I should even admit it to you. To the world. But maybe I should. Just so that I know I've told someone.

My dream is simple - one week. Just one whole week, seven days, where I can be entirely selfish. Where I can think only of myself, my needs and my desires. Seven days during which I can stay in my PJs or wear my best clothes or nothing as I choose. In which I can eat when I want to, if I want to. Where I can be at the beach and not actually do anything beachy. Or go to the city and stay up late. And sleep late. And not care about the world at large.

But I've grown up with a fear of being selfish - it remains the worst insult and most hurtful thing to throw at me in an argument. It has helped me become who I am but at a cost... I am too afraid of the label to allow myself to be completely selfish. I can't, for the life of me, take an action without factoring at least two people into it... Sometimes I have to factor in more people - sometimes I have to factor in strangers. Sometimes I feel guilt for making a choice that benefits myself...

People might counter that this is my selfish place - this little bit of the interwebs... but you know what? I don't think so... I consider you before I write something... will you learn something about me? Yourself? The world? 

So I'm asking nicely - someone wave a magic wand and switch off my responsibilities and my over-active mind for a week and whisk me away to a soul renewing place... Maybe with one extra-special person as company? 

3 comments:

  1. Hun, that ain't selfish! That dream is about caring for self! The saying is "Follow your dreams". M
    Xoxo

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  2. As a solo mum I consider this important
    I usually get that one week at the start of each year
    I plan for it
    my older son goes to his granddads for his annual holiday and I try to make sure my youngest is with his dad

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  3. I know that feeling and count me in with that wand waving - that's if you find the fairy godmother (send her on pretty please! x).

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